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Snape and Harry Gen Scenes
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“So you’re the famous Harry Potter eh?”

Harry eyed the older student that was staring at him expectantly. “I suppose I am. I’ve never gone by any other name after all.” This wasn’t strictly true, but the other students wouldn’t know that. Jeanne had cooked up more than one identity for Harry over the years, though most were benign.

“So what in the name of Merlin are you doing in our house?” The student demanded.

Harry shrugged. “It’s what that hat wanted. He eyed the wall behind the student. “Though I gotta say, if a magic wall is the extent of this house, then I’m definitely not impressed.”

The other boy flinched. “How did you-“

Harry cut him off. “It’s rattling, which if I remember the history book right, means it wants the password in the next minute or it’ll drop you down a trapdoor.”

The older boy whipped around and snapped out, “Fair fortunes!” The wall let out a grinding noise and slid open revealing a set of stairs leading down.

When he crossed his arms and did nothing else, Harry sighed and turned to the rest of the crowd of first years. “This, obviously, is the entrance to the Slytherin common room. It’ll only open with the password, which, of course, you shouldn’t give out to the other houses.”

Before he could say anything else, a low voice seemed to emanate from the common room. “Enston. Stop making a scene and let them in. Now.”

The boy flinched. “Yes sir. Everybody in!”

Harry smirked and decided to have a little fun. He drew a sigil and stepped in Purgatorio. Then he meandered down after the others.


The common room was green, almost to a fault. This was mostly due to the windows, which were apparently set under the lake, thus casting a strange green tint over everything. Aside from this, and the great fire roaring in the oversized grate, the room looked a bit like something out of an outdated home decoration magazine. Several overstuffed chairs were scattered about the room, and large sofas dominated all four walls. There was also however, a disturbing amount of snake symbols spread throughout.

Harry turned away from a particularly large example set over the fireplace as someone at the front of the room started speaking. “Welcome to Slytherin house. As many of you are aware, our house has a very…sour reputation.” The figure turned, apparently surveying the crowd. “I am your head of house, Professor Snape.”

Seen from Purgatorio, Professor Snape didn’t exactly cut an impressive figure, given that he was mostly translucent. He was tall, and his outfit reminded Harry of nothing so much as a bat at rest. Given his menacing tones, Harry was betting the effect was intentional.

“While you are here, you will abide by the house rules. You will have a curfew in effect, and I will know if you do not follow it. There are to be no duels, and no magical fights in the common room, for your own safety. As you can see, our common room is under the lake, and damaging the windows could have disastrous consequences.” Snape did another one of those turns, and Harry abruptly realized that he was looking for him but trying not to make it very obvious.

Harry grinned and leaned against a wall. Snape could search all night and not find him. He was more interested in finding the Umbra quarters anyway.

This proved to be somewhat less than difficult. There was a large portrait of an infernal hanging on the wall behind Snape, directly between the hallways that led to the dormitories. There was even a large crescent moon set into the wall above it. Upon closer inspection, Harry realized the Infernal was Madama Khepri, who had been the partner of his mother’s mother. Harry had never met the Infernal before, though he had seen some pictures in the Legetmeton.

Harry was jerked back to the present when Snape suddenly said briskly, “That will do for tonight. Before you adjourn however, we seem to be missing a student.” One of the students, Enston, Harry remembered, flinched and started looking around.

Harry sighed and taking pity on him, drew a sigil and stepped out of Purgatorio. Many people jumped, as Harry seemed to have appeared out of thin air. “You were saying?”

Outside of Purgatorio, Professor Snape turned out to be the professor that had been eyeing him at dinner. He was doing so again, but this time it was more like someone looking at a bug on the bottom of their shoe. “Potter.” He practically spat the name. “Why are you not wearing your robes?”

Harry shrugged and walked towards the portrait of Khepri, Snape swiveling to watch him. “I refuse to wear them. They’re an insult to the Umbra.”

Khepri crossed her arms and nodded, making several people start whispering. Apparently her painting had never moved before.

Snape’s expression did not change. “And what precisely do these Umbra have to do with you?”

Harry snorted. “Ask Madama Khepri. Better yet, ask my mother and my aunt.”

One of the first years piped up suddenly. “Your mum is the scary one in the black suit isn’t she? That’s what you said at dinner.”

Harry grinned. “Yes that’s her. Though she’s really not all that scary.”

Someone in the back coughed. “Says you.”

Harry’s grin widened. “True. But then I know her. I have more to fear from Muncher than her.”

“Muncher?” another student asked.

“My pet. He’s a Chain Chomp.”

There was a low grinding sound as the common room wall slid open. What followed was a distinctive jangling noise coupled with a rhythmic thudding that even had Snape looking confused.

Harry smirked. “Speaking of which.” There were several gasps and more than a few whispers as the Chain Chomp bounced into view, the crowd parting for it. Harry leaned down and rubbed the top of its head, still smiling. “Hey boy. How’d you get down here on your own?”

The chomp gave one of its strange low barks.

Harry frowned. You sound hungry. Haven’t you been fed yet today?” When the chomp growled, Harry laughed and punched several bricks out of the wall. “Here, you need more minerals anyway. The chomp barked and bit down on the bricks with a grinding crunch.

As it chewed noisily Harry gave it a gentle pat. “This is Muncher. He’ll eat anything, and that’s not an exaggeration. He’s also not all that fond of strangers, so if you want to pet him or something don’t try it without me, my mom, or my aunt there.”

Snape scowled. “If the creature is that dangerous, it cannot remain in the confines of the school. Students must not be put in danger.”

Harry fixed him with a scowl. “Yes, because everyone’s cats and owls tolerate anyone near them and never get territorial.” Snape’s expression went blank, and several people snickered. “Leave him be, and he’s not much of a threat.” Harry paused. “Well, so long as you watch your toes. He likes to nibble. Any questions?”

“Yeah. How’d you punch a brick wall?”

Harry shrugged. “Oh I’m just stronger than I look.”

At this Snape seemed to come back to himself. Aiming his wand at he wall he muttered a spell that restored the bricks. Then he turned to face Harry. “Rest assured, we will be having a discussion later.” He promised. “Do not damage the common room again. It is not an area for rough-housing. You are a wizard-“

“Witch.” Unlike any of the other infernal’s he’d met, Khepri’s voice had a distinct buzz to it, one strong enough to cut through Snape’s lecturing tone.

Harry grinned. “She’s right. We don’t use that term. Male Umbra are still witches.” With a shudder, he said, “I’d make a terrible Lumen Sage.”

“I should hope not.” Madama Khepri scowled, which only enhanced her resemblance to a beetle. “Do not even joke, son of Cereza. Their grasp is not for you.”


“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Harry assured her.

“What in the name of Merlin are you speaking?”

Growing annoyed, Harry let out a growl and whirled to face Snape. “Enough questions. I already told you, you want to know more about the Umbra, ask my mother.”

“Now see here-”

“Silence interloper!” Madama Khepri seemed to have become fed up herself, as she said it in English. “His secrets are not for you to learn!” the buzz of her voice manifested much more strongly in English. Switching back to Enochian she said to Harry, “This one likes to stick his large nose where it doesn’t belong.”


“I had guessed as much.” Harry grinned. “Do you guard the Umbra quarters then?”


Madama Khepri smiled back, showing her teeth. “I do. One of the castle servants brought your possessions in earlier. Apparently the area needed dusting.” There was a loud click and her portrait swung inward. In English she said, “Do come in my dear, and mind the steps. It’s a long drop.”

Harry leaned through the portrait hole. “No kidding.” He turned around. “Muncher! Here boy!”

The chomp, which had been bouncing around the chairs nearest the fire, barked and made it’s way over to him. Harry grinned and picked it up. “Wouldn’t want you to fall.” Over his shoulder he said, “Night all.” He jumped and landed several feet down the spiraling staircase, Khepri’s portrait snapping shut behind him.

There was what sounded like a muffled argument before something resembling a snarl sounded, followed by the noise of someone, most likely Snape, stomping away.


Aside from the fact that they bore obvious signs of long disuse, the Umbra quarters were quite nice. There was a roaring fire going in the main area, which looked like a more tasteful version of the common room, done mostly in black. There were also a series of rooms through a hallway, each of which had a luxurious looking four poster bed. The room closest to the main room had his trunk in it. There was also note on the bedside table denoting breakfast times.

Harry grinned and flopped down on the bed. “I think I might like it here after all.” From its place on the floor, the chomp barked and went to sleep.


What a waste of time. Bayonetta inspected her nails while she waited for the last of the professors to return to the great hall. The Headmaster had requested a staff meeting before bed. She suspected it was mostly so she and Jeanne could introduce themselves.

There was a slam, and a sallow looking man with a large nose blitzed into the room, looking like some kind of oversized bat.

“Ah, Severus, thank you for joining us.” The headmaster sat up in his seat at the end of the table. “I trust your students are settled in well?”

“Potter is going to be an issue, but otherwise yes.”

“Yes I noticed he wasn’t wearing any robes.” This came from a witch with a bun, dressed in tartan.

“He claims they’re an insult to the Umbra. He also claims to be one.”

The headmaster shook his head. “Impossible. The Umbra witch clan died out over five hundred years ago. There hasn’t been an Umbra witch here at Hogwarts in nearly the same amount of time.”

Bayonetta smirked internally. Shows what you know.

“Besides,” He continued, “There’s no way his aunt would ever have exposed him to their ways.”

Here Severus locked eyes with Bayonetta. “He also claims that you are his mother.”

Bayonetta smirked. “That’s correct. For almost ten years now.” She sat up straight. “I adopted him quite some time ago.” She fixed her gaze on the headmaster. “I don’t pretend to know everything, but I certainly know you, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Granted, the last time I saw you was just after halloween nearly ten years ago.”

Dumbledore frowned. “We have never met.”

Bayonetta stood and flicked her hand, drawing one of her guns. She used it to adjust her glasses before pointing it at the door. A quick squeeze of the trigger had a heart shape crunched into the wood. In the ringing silence that followed, she said, “I was there. I certainly didn’t bother to speak with you, but I was there. Let me give you a little refresher.” She turned to face him. “Dear Mrs. Dursley, this is your nephew, Harry James Potter, born the thirty first of last July. I regret to inform you of the passing of your sister Lily and her husband, James.”

Dumbledore looked slightly ashen. “You were there the night he was given to them.”

Bayonetta whirled. “Forced on them, you mean. You certainly didn’t wait around to see if she actually wanted him. Which she didn’t. She was more than happy to give him up.”

“He was her only nephew! Had it been her son, Lily would have been delighted to raise-”

Bayonetta held up a hand. “I don’t pretend to know either of them, but shared blood does not always equal familial love. She felt he was better suited with me.” She paused. “In fact her exact words were, “He’s probably better of with you anyway. You and the rest of those freaks.” She waved the gun at Dumbledore, grinning as most of the professors drew wands. “She certainly wasn’t enamored of you lot.”

The headmaster had gone a strange shade of white that put her in mind of badly mixed ice cream.

From her seat, Jeanne suddenly spoke. “Stop hiding in the shadows Luka, and just come inside.”

There was a grunt, and Luka slid out from behind the open window. Somewhat grumpily, he said, “How’d you even know I was there?”

A jet of red light launched at him. Bayonetta scowled and threw out a hand. There was a thrum of noise, and Madama Butterfly’s hand suddenly appeared in front of him, catching the jet of magic and tossing it up and down like a ball. Then it hurled the spell out the window. There was a distant explosion, and a yowl from several cats.

“Don’t do that again.” Bayonetta snapped. “And your hat jingles Cheshire.”

Luka adjusted the hat and grinned. “You like the hat.”

“It does suit you.” Jeanne said. “What are you doing here though?”

Luka grinned. “I was in the country already. Figured I’d drop by to say hello, and drop off a little present I picked up for Harry.” He handed a box to Bayonetta, then fist bumped Madama Butterfly’s hand. “Thanks for the save, Madama.” The hand gave him a thumbs up. “So this is Hogwarts. I gotta say, I’m not impressed. It’s got nothing on Vigrid.”

Bayonetta scoffed. “Vigrid was built up on religious sycophants and good deal of lies and slander. This place simply seems to be built to location specifics.”

“Fair enough.” He jerked a thumb at the headmaster. “This the guy?”

Jeanne frowned. “If by that, you mean the one responsible for Harry’s original placement, then yes.”

Luka huffed. “Not impressed by that either. He glanced around, settling on the witch in tartan, who still had her wand out. “You must be the Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall.” When she blinked, he grinned. “You should put that away.” He indicated her wand. “Bayonetta could thrash you nine ways to next Sunday.”

When McGonagall looked mildly affronted, he shook his head. “She’s an Umbra witch, and so is Jeanne. You’ve got nothing on them.”

McGonagall kept her wand focused on him. “Who are you?”

“Luka, journalist extraordinaire.” He executed a slightly mocking bow. Then he turned to Bayonetta, summarily ignoring her. “Are you sure about this?”

Bayonetta scowled and sat back down in her chair. “Not entirely. This place reeks of Paradiso and Inferno. Rodin says the lake leads downstairs. He didn’t know where the upstairs is.”

Luka crossed his arms. “My guess is the forest. According to local legend, it’s been forbidden to enter even before the castle was built. And it’s apparently one of the only areas that haven’t had much in the way of development around here. Sounds like prime real estate for them.”

“Ancient and unspoiled, that would do the trick.”

“Now what’s this about the Dursley’s? I haven’t heard that name since I had Petunia Dursley sign the guardianship transferral papers ten years ago.”

Bayonetta snorted softly. “I was just informing the dear Headmaster here about his inaccurate information about Harry.” She frowned. “Though I did hear a Dudley Dursley get called during the sorting ceremony. He ended up in Slytherin, I think.”

“Bet that letter went over well at home.”

Bayonetta sniffed. “Like a wingless rock, most likely.”

Finally, one of the other professors midway down the table broke in. “You can’t seriously be Umbra Witches. They died out centuries ago.”

Bayonetta huffed and hopped back on the table. “PDEE BURMA!” there was a thrum, and a whirlwind of hair erupted from her, making her vanish from view. The room shook as a massive portal opened, and Madama Butterfly towered into being.

Jeanne sniffed somewhat haughtily. “Care to say that again? Or do you need to see Madama Styx as well?”

A professor in a turban halfway down the table fainted dead away.

You're an Umbran Harry! CH8
PDEE BURMA is apparently the actual summon for Madama Butterfly. (I thought it was E VARMA) and it seems to mean first elder.

We'll see a much more in depth conversation between Bayonetta, Jeanne, and Dumbledore next chapter, as well as Slytherin's reaction to Umbra things in general, and get into classes. (Plus you'll see what Luka got Harry ;)

The day of love was fast approaching, and most of the divine pantheon was getting into the spirit of things. At least Jack Frost thought so.


Roughly two weeks before the day, he met the Goddess of Love face to face for the first time. She had apparently come to confer with Lady Palutena, as it seemed that more of the humans tended to pray to her rather than the love deity. (This was clearly something that vexed her, though she hid it well, only saying that it made it more difficult when they took their love problems to someone else.)


Aphrodite it seemed, was an effervescent sort, as she pounced on Jack almost as soon as she realized who he was. “Jack Frost! Darling!” She enveloped him in a hug that immediately had him trying very hard not to freeze her in retaliation. He doubted Lady Palutena would have approved. “Goodness! I’ve been wanting to meet you for ages!”


Free of her arms, Jack took a moment to compose himself. Somewhat shakily, he said, “You-you have?”


Aphrodite burst out laughing. “Of course! Love and snow go together hand in hand, after all! Huddling together for warmth in a cozy shop, sliding straight into that special someone, it’s practically magical.”


Then she got a rather disturbing glint in her eye. “But you’ve been living here in Skyworld for a long time now! Surely you must have seen someone who catches your eye!”


To his horror, Jack felt himself blush, cheeks icing blue. “W-well, I kinda have been looking at someone.”


Aphrodite lit up at this and launched forward, grabbing his hands. Ignoring his resulting flinch, she bounced on the soles of her feet. “Who?!”


“W-well, he-”


Thankfully Palutena arrived before he had to say any more. Before he could fully process it, she had distracted (and removed) Aphrodite from him. As she led her away, Jack breathed a sigh of relief.




Much later in the day, Lady Palutena caught up with him. “I’m sorry about that Jack. I hadn’t realized she’d already arrived until Pit told me she’d caught you.”


“Is she always like that?”


The goddess sighed. “Yes, but not usually to this degree. It’s really only this bad when it’s closing in on Valentines day. Something about the increase in prayers and the general mood causes her to ramp things up. It’s not really her fault.”


“It’s okay. She just came on kind of strong.” Left unsaid was that thing he was really objecting to was her very hands on attitude. Aside from Pit, Lady Palutena was perhaps the only other person who could touch him without sparking some kind of reaction.


Palutena gave him a look. “I think you might be understating again. Just remember she means well.”


“Yeah. She got all excited when I said that I did have my eye on someone.”


Palutena smiled. “She’s quite enthusiastic about her job.” She paused. “You are planning on confessing to that special someone aren’t you?”


Jack shrugged. “I-I don’t know that I even have a clue how to go about it.”


Palutena smiled. “I think you just need some confidence. Maybe you should watch how the humans do it.”


As this tended to be a standard solution from Lady Palutena for many of what she termed Jack’s “Mortal Problems”, Jack was unsurprised to hear it. This did not make it any less of a valid notion however.


As he turned to go, Palutena suddenly spoke. “Jack.”


“Yes, Lady Palutena?”


She smiled. “If it comes from the heart, You’ll have little to fear.”


With that cryptic advice, she left, still smiling.


It didn’t occur to Jack until much later that she obviously knew about his own object of desire.




Several days of observation yielded little, aside from the fact that most humans liked to present flowers to their significant others.


On the fourth day, Viridi caught him at it.


“Why are you watching those hairless apes? They’re good for a laugh once in a while, but that’s about it.”


When Jack bit his lip, she sighed. “Let me guess, Palutena put you up to this?” When Jack nodded, she scowled. “I know she says humans are closest to the gods, but not everything they do has a parallel to us.” Ignoring Jack’s halfhearted protest that he wasn’t a god, she plowed on. “Besides, you’re supposed to be above them, you know that.”


“Lady Palutena says I was human once too.”


Viridi waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, but you got better. Why were you watching them anyway?”


Unsure how to answer, Jack settled for a roundabout response. “I met Aphrodite a few days ago.”


Viridi’s expression changed to something resembling sympathy. “Oh geeze, you met her in full Valentine’s mode, didn’t you?”


“Lady Palutena said she’s not always like that.”


“She’s not, but that doesn’t make her any less of a hassle to deal with.”




Viridi rubbed the back of her head, looking annoyed. “She thinks it’s cute to make random animals fall in love and mate. Never mind that I take my animal husbandry very seriously. Her last creation was the Jackelope. I had a hard time explaining that one to Gaea.”


“Was she angry?”


Virdi grinned. “Nah. She made the Platypus by accident herself, so she let it slide. She did have a chat with Aphrodite about it though.” Then she frowned. “I take it you decided to learn more about her holiday?”


“Sort of. So far all I’ve really learned is that they like to give flowers to people they like.”


Viridi made a face. “Oh yeah, I’d forgotten they do that. They even claim that there’s a language to flowers.” When Jack eyed her, she huffed and snapped defensively, “Don’t look at me! They came up with that nonsense all on their own! They think yellow tulips mean true love, for crying out loud.”


Jack frowned. “So far all I’ve seen are roses.”


“Eh. Those are classics apparently.” She scowled. “I’m not entirely convinced that the flower giving isn’t one of Aphrodite’s sleeper schemes, but she claims they came up with it all by themselves. The candy giving is all her though.” She put on a higher pitch that sounded remarkably like the love goddess. “A sweet for your sweetie!” she scowled again. “Puh-leeze.”


“You don’t sound all that impressed.”


Viridi snorted. “I’m a goddess. I’m above all that human stuff.”


“Pit would disagree.”


“Yeah well, he and Palutena are attached at the hip. At least Pittoo has more sense.”


Unable to help himself Jack snorted. “I guess so. He joined your army didn’t he?”

“Darn straight!” Then she blinked and elbowed him. “Hey! Was that a shot?!”


When Jack started laughing, she gave him a half-hearted shove, almost dislodging him from the fluffy cloud they were on.


Controlling himself, Jack settled for a grin. “So you know why I’m here. What are you doing here, Mistress Viridi?”


To his surprise, Viridi reddened slightly. She grumbled for a moment before finally sighing. “Fine, I’ll just say it. I was worried. Palutena contacted me and said she hadn’t seen you in a few days. And the last time that happened…”


“Was the volcano incident.” Jack finished. “You know every time I drop off the map is not cause for alarm.”


“I know that.” Viridi said shortly. “But you can’t blame me for worrying. When you get in trouble it can be spectacular.”


“For the record, I was not the one who even started that mess. That was the spring and summer sprites.”


“Yeah and I gave their seasonal masters an earful over what their sprites had been doing under their noses. But you did make the volcano erupt.”


“It was self defense! They sent some kind of dragon after me!”


Viridi rolled her eyes. “It was a water serpent, and you unleashed a previously dormant volcano on it. Cooked it good too.” She shook her head. “Just…head home and give Palutena some peace of mind. If she’s not worried bout you, then I don’t have to be either.”


Jack grinned. “Yes Mistress Viridi.”




Ironically, Jack felt that the best advice he got on the situation came from Medusa.


It turned out the Goddess of Darkness was prayed to as often as Lady Palutena when it came to love, though for very different reasons. Jack discovered she was the one who had to deal with the jilted lovers, and the ones wishing heartbreak on others.


When Jack expressed his surprise, Medusa gave him a toothy grin. “Aphrodite used to do this, but she really doesn’t have the spine for it.”


“You seem to enjoy it.”


Medusa’s grin widened. “Well, revenge is a personal specialty of mine.” He watched as she sent another curse spiraling down from the heavens. “So your disappearing act was so you could go people watching?”


“It wasn’t intentional! I just…forgot.”


“Got caught up in your own thoughts you mean.” She shook her head, and one of her snakes hissed at the motion. “Just remember, watching the humans is all well and good, but they aren’t us.” She put her hands on her hips. “None of us ever got anywhere by being shy and retiring. And we certainly never did it by waving around candy and flowers.”


Then she gave him a more normal smile. “If you’re confident and be yourself, then there’s nothing to worry about. A little gift might be nice, so long as it’s made from the heart. We did have to make a few bribes back in the old days.” She frowned slightly. “Though it is a little strange the humans celebrate love on a day the man it’s named for was stoned to death.”




Medusa grinned. “Oh yes. You haven’t heard that yet have you?” She smirked and explained, something that lasted well into an hour, and gave Jack serious doubts about human rationale




In the end, the job wasn’t as difficult as Jack had imagined it to be. On Valentine’s day proper, Jack went searching, acutely aware that Aphrodite could be somewhere in the temple rafters. (She had proved to have a disturbing propensity for ninja skills, and for following him everywhere.)


He found Pit in the gazing room by himself. This by itself was odd, as Lady Palutena should have been there that time of morning, watching the world. Pit was carrying a small box and looked distinctly red. Upon seeing Jack, the blush deepened slightly.


“Uh, hi Jack! Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”


“I guess so. Seems about average for here. Lady Palutena’s not up yet?”


Pit turned redder. “No she’s up. She’s distracting Aphrodite.”


Jack blinked. “Distracting Aphrodite?”


Pit nodded, wings flexing distractedly. “You saw how she gets. The day of is the worst, and I really didn’t want her commentary when I did this.” He held out the box, looking very nervous.




The angel’s blush had returned, full blast. “Would you- would you be my valentine?”


Jack opened the box to find a red jewel shaped like a feather. Closer inspection revealed it to be a sort of broach, similar to the one that clasped the shoulder of Pit’s chiton. “Where did you get this?”


Pit licked his lips. “I- uh, carved it out of one of my tunic clasps.” He rubbed the back of his head, looking slightly sheepish. I sort of broke a few before I got the hang of it.”


Jack smiled and attached the feather to his cloak, watching as Pit’s face brightened. Then he held out the box holding his own present. As Pit unwrapped it, he said, “This makes it a lot easier for me. I thought I was gonna have a real hard time doing this.” Pit held up the snowflake and eyed it. “It’s a clasp too. I made sure it’d never melt.”


“It’s warm.”


Jack grinned. “Yeah, I learned a new trick.”


Pit grinned back and took his hand, smiling when Jack didn’t so much as flinch. “So I was thinking we’d go ice skating today.”


Jack frowned. “Can you even keep up with me?”


Pit shrugged. “Never done it before, so I doubt it.” He grinned. “Still, there’s a first time for everything, right?”


Pit ended up with a lot of bruises, and some very sore knees, but said having Jack’s hand in his made it all worth it in the end.

Feathers and Snowflakes
My entry for the valentines contest at :iconpitlovers: . Sorry for the wack-a-doodle spacing, not sure what caused that.

this is related to my story Child of Light, Where Jack Frost (Of rise of the Guardians fame) is found lost and alone by Lady Palutena, and brought to Skyworld. And yes, Medusa is around again, and as cantankerous as ever.

Aphrodite is mentioned in the uprising game, specifically as the goddess of love, and is apparently responsible for the angel bow. Her main problem is that she tends to have something resembling seasonal effective disorder, but in reverse, and only around her holiday

As for Jack, his time spent wandering the world alone has created something resembling Haphephobia (Phobia of touching or being touched) He's not actually afraid, but his body can't quite process it, being that it went so long without except with Palutena and Pit, who have given him lots of practice with them.

Hope you enjoy everyone!

“Dear Mister Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” He examined the envelope, which had been brought by an exhausted looking owl. Said owl was currently keeled over on the back of the living room sofa, wings akimbo. Harry was fairly certain that if it could, it would have been panting. “I didn’t apply.”

Bayonetta sauntered out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of water. She plucked the owl off the sofa and put it on a table, placing the water in front of it. The owl gave a low hoot and began to drink. Stroking its feathers gently, she pursed her lips. “Apparently you didn’t have to. From what Luka says, your name has been down ever since you were born. According to him, your birth parents were magical themselves, just not like us.”

She cast a glance at the large portrait hanging on one wall. It showed a redheaded woman and a man with very messy black hair. She had gotten it, along with a number of other items, at her visit to Gringotts, which had apparently shipped them from its European branch. The rest of the items had been locked away for safekeeping, though his parents wands hung below the portrait. She hadn’t questioned just how the Goblins had managed to recover those. They were notorious for their infernal talents.

Harry frowned and adjusted his glasses, the wing design across the top shining. “Why would I go to some school in Scotland? That’s where it is isn’t it?”

“According to Luka, yes.” She frowned. “And it’s not like you need to. But it certainly wouldn’t hurt to get another perspective on magic.”

Harry squinted at the letter. “Apparently they await my owl.”

The owl jerked away from the water dish with a loud hoot of horror.

Bayonetta gently rubbed its head. “They’ll have to wait. This poor thing needs a few days to recover. It just flew cross country after all.” The owl slumped in relief, and was more than content to be picked up and placed in a potted tree on the patio.

Jeanne arrived shortly thereafter. It soon transpired that she had been doing some research. She plunked a large book entitled, “Hogwarts, a History”, down on the coffee table. “This place is pretty venerated around Europe. Supposedly it’s actually a decent school, for a place that specializes in wands.”

Harry made a face. “Why would I want to use one of those?” He made a fist. “I do just fine with Lady Astarte.”

Jeanne shrugged. “It’s worth thinking about. And you wouldn’t be alone there in any case. I happened to find out that the school is recruiting for teachers. Your mother and I can easily send some of our course programs up there.

While Jeanne taught High-school, Harry’s mother taught a self-defense class most nights. Nothing that could be mistaken for an Umbra’s training, but still quite effective. More than a few people had come back saying that the classes had saved their lives.

“Give it a few days thought sweetie.” Bayonetta said. “The owl needs to recover anyway.”


It was three days before the owl was apparently able (or willing) to make the transcontinental flight. It let them know by flying in and fetching a pen and paper in its beak and bringing them to Harry.

“I suppose it’s time to make a decision.” Bayonetta said. She watched as Harry frowned.

“I get the feeling that saying no would be more trouble than it’s worth.” He eyed the owl for a moment. “Still, they might be able to tell me about my parents. I kinda want to know more about them.” He brightened. “Besides if I don’t like it, I can always just unleash Inferno on them. They sound pretty weak.”

Bayonetta ruffled his hair. “That a boy.”


The letter also included a list of school supplies, many of which Bayonetta and Jeanne had scoffed at. “A pewter cauldron, really? Who uses those anymore?”

The list had said that all purchases could be made in Diagon Alley. Harry knew from Luka that the alley could be accessed via the Leaky Cauldron. What Luka hadn’t mentioned was how everyone would crowd around him. Apparently his scar was quite famous.

“Back off!” Bayonetta’s abrupt command was coupled with a magically charged blast fired into the rafters from one of her guns. Several people shrieked, and the crowd rapidly backed away. “Honestly, you wouldn’t know from looking that this was a crowd of adults, rather than children.” She flipped her hand, making the gun vanish. “Out of the way!”

As she was currently sporting one of her more deadly glares from under her white rose laden hat, the effect was immediate. The crowd parted rather as if someone had cut them in two. Bayonetta and Jeanne stepped on either side of Harry and led the way to the back.


The rear lot looked rather decrepit at first glance. Then Harry spotted a slight golden glint at the top of one wall. “What’s that?”

Bayonetta looked up. “Witch metal.” She jumped and delivered a punch that shattered the brick and revealed a disc of buttery yellow metal. Then she gave the disc a magically charged kick. There was a faint ringing sound, and the disc flashed, before the entire wall curled away, revealing a bustling street and a sign proclaiming “Diagon Alley”.

Jeanne grinned. “Apparently Vigrid isn’t the only place with Umbran influence.”

Nearly all activity stopped as the trio headed down the street. While Harry was in his battlesuit, guns and all,(Though they were invisible for the time being), Bayonetta was in a rather interestingly cut white dress that showed more than it hid. It was this that was attracting the majority of attention, though Jeanne’s dress was drawing its fair share as well.

“Where to first?”

“The bank I should think.” Bayonetta twirled a Halo idly with one finger. “I don’t think the local merchants are going to take payments in Halos. I’m afraid we’ll need to exchange for the local currency. If it’s anything like the American branch I went to, it should be possible.”


“Then again, that may not be necessary.” She and Jeanne stared as the goblin stepped aside to allow them access into Harry’s vault.

The vault that was absolutely filled with shining coins of all types.

“Well, good to know it’s here.” Bayonetta pulled a sack full of Halos from somewhere, pretending not to notice the way the Goblin’s eyes grew wide. “Still, that’s your money for later down the road. Paying for your supplies is a parental prerogative.”


A short while later found them laden down with more wizarding money than they could count. Halos it seemed, had quite an exchange rate. As a precaution, Harry magically grew his bangs out to cover his scar.

Most of the trip was fairly straightforward. Bayonetta stored their purchases in some kind of box that seemed to never run out of space. When asked, she said she had borrowed it from Rodin.


It wasn’t until they were purchasing a wand that anything happened. Harry had been rather against purchasing one, but Jeanne had eventually convinced him, saying that if nothing else, it made for a good bit of subterfuge.

They were in the wand shop, a dusty and slightly dingy place called Ollivander’s. This was in keeping with Ollivander himself, who appeared to be about as weathered as his shop.

The white haired man appeared from out of nowhere around a corner, dusting off his suit. “May I help you?”

“I need a wand.”

Ollivander peered at him. “No, you don’t.” He said in a matter of fact tone, “You use another source young man. That much I can see, even if I don’t know what it is.” He straightened. “But I suppose that won’t matter at Hogwarts, will it Mister Potter?”

Harry shared a look with his mother and aunt.

Ollivander either didn’t notice, or pretended not to. “Seems like only yesterday, your mother and father were in here buying their first wands.” He started ambling among the shelves, inspecting boxes seemingly at random before pulling one.

Removing the wand he held it out to Harry, who took it. “I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mister Potter. Your mother’s for example, very good for charms, while your father’s excelled in transfiguration.” He frowned when Harry simply stood there and said, “Well go on, give it a wave!”

Harry did so. An entire wall of wands went flying from the shelves to land in a heap on the ground. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Harry was certain he heard Lady Astarte giggle.

Ollivander’s face was impassive as he took the wand back and selected another for him to try. This one cracked the ceiling, causing plaster to fall.

Things continued in this way for a while, and Harry was beginning to worry that the shop might collapse. Finally Ollivander handed him one that was “Holly and Phoenix feather, thirteen inches.” There was a wave of heat that rushed up his arm, and actually waving the wand made a fountain of sparks.

Ollivander applauded politely. “Curious.”

“And why would that be?”

Ollivander smiled thinly as he boxed up the wand and rang it up on an ancient looking cash register that had somehow survived the carnage. “It just so happens that the phoenix that gave the feather for that wand gave just one other feather. It’s curious he should get this wand, when its brother gave him that scar.”

Stepping over a pile of broken glass, he held out the box. “The wand chooses the wizard, Mister Potter, be it for good or ill. You would do well to remember that.” He shook hands with him. “Good day, and good luck.”


Their final stop was a place called Gladrags Wizard Wear. Harry had refused point blank to wear a school robe, feeling that it was an insult to his Umbran nature. Neither Bayonetta nor Jeanne protested. Bayonetta did however, want to have a look at the wizarding fashions. Apparently she had noticed a few especially interesting ones during their trip.

Gladrags was mostly empty, save a child with hair that was almost as blonde as Jeanne’s. He was accompanied by a man and woman that were clearly his parents.

Jeanne started browsing amongst the shelves, looking at cloaks. Bayonetta however headed over to look at dresses, passing the man and woman as if they weren’t even there.

Both of them stared after them as if they’d seen something unpleasant. The woman however, also sent a faintly envious look at Bayonetta’s dress.

The boy on the other hand, said somewhat loudly, “Who on earth let muggles in here?”

Both the adults smirked faintly when Jeanne quirked an eyebrow. The expression changed when she clicked her fingers and a dress levitated itself off the hangers. “Try this one Cereza.” She sent the gown flying across the room. Harry hid a smirk. The Hogwarts book had mentioned muggles. The three of them were anything but.

Harry himself was soon swept into a world of cloaks and dress shirts. Bayonetta and Jeanne kept their attendant quite busy. He eventually ended up next to the blonde boy, holding a small pile of capes and shirts.

The boy gave him a rather disdainful look. “You lot try too hard to make it look like you have money. It’s rather disgraceful.”

Harry was sorely tempted to deliver a wicked weave, but refrained. “Who said anything about trying? We do have money.” He frowned and added, “And a good deal more tact.”

The boy colored, making it look as if his cheeks had been rouged badly. Both his parents lips thinned.

Harry ignored them. “Clearly your money didn’t buy manners.”

The boy opened his mouth in outrage, but his mother suddenly spoke, clearly scenting danger. “That’s enough Draco. You were being rather rude.” She was staring at Harry as though she was seeing something very familiar and was unable to place it. Eventually she extended a hand. “I apologize for my son. I am Narcissa Malfoy.”

Harry shook it gently. “Harry. Pleasure to meet you Missus Malfoy.”

Her brow furrowed. “You have an interesting accent.”

“I live in America.”

“Ah. On vacation then are you?”

“Shopping for school actually. I got an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Trip almost killed the owl.”

Her husband spoke for the first time. “You live in America and you got a letter for Hogwarts?”

Harry shrugged. “Apparently my name was down for it ever since I was born. And I was born in Britain.”

Mister Malfoy eyed the counter, where there was sizable pile of Galleons, Knuts, and sickles in front of a rather awestruck clerk. “What precisely does your family deal in?”

Jeanne spoke from behind him. “Antiquities.” The man jumped. “Rarities, mostly of religious aspects.” Harry barely restrained a snort. “Though I’m also a teacher of muggle subjects and advanced magical defense. Cereza over there teaches self-defense classes.” She glanced at Harry. “Bring your clothes to the counter so we can wrap them. I think it’s time we headed out.”

As he headed to the counter, Harry heard the older Malfoy say, “You teach magic do you? I happen to be on the board of governors for Hogwarts.”

Harry ignored the resulting conversation in favor of speaking with his mother. “Ready to head home sweetie?”

Harry nodded. “Is Uncle Enzo flying us back?”

Bayonetta grinned. “Actually it’s Luka bringing us back. He has an early birthday present for you.”


Harry’s present turned out to be a large snowy white owl. “Figured she’d be just the thing for you kid. I hear all that school uses for messages is owls.”

“Why Cheshire, she’s gorgeous!”

Anything else Bayonetta had to say was cut off as light erupted around them. Heavenly music filled the air and Applauds and Affinities dropped from the sky.

Bayonetta sighed. “And here I thought we could have a nice excursion.” She drew her guns. “Oh well, I could use the exercise anyway. Ready Harry?”

Harry’s response was to fire off a shot that blew the head off an Affinity that had prowled a little too close.

“Good lad! Do take cover Cheshire!”

Luka dived into the plane and slammed the door.


Jeanne joined the fray shortly thereafter, blasting a Beloved in the jewel on its back. “Sorry I’m late. Had some business to finish up with those Malfoys. How do you feel about being called a professor?”

Bayonetta grabbed the Beloved’s axe as it launched it into a swing, wrenching it from its hands and cleaving it into its flesh, sending blood everywhere. “It almost makes me sound respectable! Can’t have that.”

Harry summoned Lady Astarte behind them. The massive Infernal rose and delivered a hefty punch that summarily flattened the angel, squishing it into a tenth of its former size, and causing it to let out a shrill squeal of death.

Jeanne flicked her hair back. “Well you won’t really have a choice there, I’m afraid. Hogwarts won’t call its instructors anything else.”

Bayonetta smirked and blew a kiss at the angelic seal, shattering it. “We’ll just have to see if we can change that, won’t we?”

The plane door slid open. “Every day is a new adventure with you two, you know that?”

The owl hooted in agreement.

You're an Umbran Harry! chapter 6
Forgot to post this...oops?

A personal headcanon of mine is that the Umbra can communicate telepathically with their contract partners, which gives them an edge in battle.

Also, Bayonetta finds the notion of a woman (or man, for that matter) being unable to defend themselves absolutely abhorrent, thus she teaches self defense classes for all ages.

“Platform nine and three quarters? What kinda magic shit is that?”

Harry shrugged. “That’s what the ticket says Uncle Enzo.”

Enzo shrugged and flicked his cigar into the ashtray, dislodging a slew of ash. “Eh whatever. Guess the magic carpets all have holes in them or something.”

“Actually those are supposedly illegal in Europe.” Jeanne had procured a book full of wizarding laws while in Diagon Alley, and had been reading it ever since they got home. She squinted at the page. “Says they’ve been banned since eighteen twenty-two.” She frowned. “Apparently it’s still legal to curse ugly muggles though.”

Enzo shuddered. “If they’re anything like your curses, I don’t think I wanna know.”

Bayonetta scoffed and took a sip of her wine. “We’re special cases and you know it.”

Enzo shrugged. “Yeah fine. So, I’ll fly you witches into London next week then?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Nah. I can go shopping for Clarissa’s birthday present in London. Them angels don’t seem to bother with me unless you lot are involved. I ain’t exactly their type you know.”

“Duly noted.”


“Well, there’s platform ten, and that’s platform nine.” Bayonetta glanced around. “Platform nine and three quarters doesn’t seem to be here.”

“It’s between them.” All three of them turned to see a plump red haired woman with a small gaggle of children behind her. “You have to run at the barrier between them. She gestured to one of her sons. “Show them Percy.”

The boy in question grasped his trolley and charged the barrier, vanishing into the brick as if it didn’t exist. Bayonetta frowned and stuck a hand into it. The bricks rippled like water. “interesting trick.”

“It reacts to magic. Though muggles can use it if they’ve been around magic enough.” The woman explained. She held out a hand and shook Bayonetta and Jeanne’s. “Molly Weasley.”



“Pleasure. You must be new to Hogwarts. I don’t know why they never mention the platform in the letters.” She frowned. “I usually stay out here to help the muggleborn first years find the platform. My husband is on the other side.”

“That’s very nice of you.”

Mrs. Weasley glanced down at Harry. “I do try. And who might you be?”

Harry smiled and held out his hand. “Harry Potter ma’am.”

The lone girl in the crowd of children squeaked. Mrs Weasley shot her a look. “Pleasure to meet you dear. I imagine this must be quite strange for you, off to Hogwarts all alone.”

Harry shook his head. “Mom and Aunt Jeanne’ll both be teaching there this year, so it’s not like I’ll be entirely by myself.”

Mrs. Weasley looked up. “You two are new professors?”

Bayonetta grinned. “I teach self-defense classes. I’m told I’m quite good at it. Jeanne there teaches advanced magical defense.”

Jeanne waved. “I teach the wandless variety.” She frowned and noted as the twins near the back suddenly looked gleeful.

Mrs. Weasley saw it too. “Don’t you be getting ideas you two!” She snapped. “Those are my twins, Fred and George. Biggest troublemakers you ever saw.”

Neither twin looked in the least repentant.


“Well there’s an obnoxious object.” Bayonetta eyed the bright red steam engine as it puffed merrily on the tracks.

“It is a bit of an eyesore, I grant you.” They turned to find Lucius Malfoy and his wife and son standing nearby. He sighed. “However, the Ministry of Magic requires that all students ride it, or not be allowed admission to Hogwarts. Even my considerable clout has not been enough to sway their minds.”

A loud whistle rent the air.

Mrs. Malfoy gestured to her son. “That’s the ten minute warning. Draco, you’d better get on board. Your friends will be looking for you.”

“Yes mother.” He vanished into the train.

Lucius flicked his wand and sent his son’s possessions floating in after him. To Jeanne he said, “You two are all set at the castle. The headmaster will announce you before the start of the welcoming feast.” He glanced at Harry. “Would you like me to enchant your belongings as well?”

Harry shook his head. “No thanks.” He reached down and hefted the trolley, trunk and all, throwing onto one shoulder. “It’s really not all that heavy.” He grinned and carried it onto the train, ignoring the astonished expressions on the Malfoy’s faces.


The ride was largely uneventful, aside from the sudden appearance of a girl with very bushy brown hair. She was accompanied by a boy with a rather downtrodden expression. After inquiring about a missing toad, she vanished, though she gave Harry a very curious look. Bayonetta and Jeanne’s mere presence was enough to scare away most of the nosier students. Adults were apparently a rarity on the train however, and they still managed to draw a steady stream.

Eventually Bayonetta put a seal on the door and all three of them stepped into Purgatorio. Harry settled down into reading one of Jeanne’s old history books. This was always an interesting affair, as the margins were filled with notes from Jeanne herself, who had actually met most of the people featured.

Her comments spared no one; George Washington was deemed a man with his wig on too tight, and devoid of any real fun. Abraham Lincoln however, was declared a statesman of high caliber. Coming from Jeanne, Harry knew that either statement could have very well meant anything.


It was some hours later that the train arrived at a small station. There was a thrum of noise as the locomotive began to empty. The conductor, a somewhat portly man dressed in red, and with a great deal of mustache, stopped by their compartment to inform them that a carriage was waiting to bring the two women up to the school. Harry however was to go with the rest of the first years, his things would be brought to the castle for him.


Stepping out of the train brought another surprise. Rodin.

“Bout time you got here.” He grinned, making the already clear circle around him widen noticeably.

“That’s the trouble with traveling legal.” Bayonetta said. “It’s so damn slow.”

Rodin snorted. “Only to you. Though I grant you a train is pretty backwater.”

“Why are you here Uncle Rodin? I thought you were in Spain.”

Rodin frowned. “Got a very hot news item. You remember your momma telling you how some places are closer to Inferno or Paradiso?” When Harry nodded, he continued. “Turns out Hogwarts is like Fimbulventr, it has connections to both. Stay out of the lake. It’s got a path that’ll take you down home.”

Jeanne blinked. “I take it there’s a path to Paradiso too then?”

Rodin nodded. “Not sure where it is, but that means nothin’ round here.” He fished around in his jacket for a moment and withdrew a large ruby on a chain. “Your momma and aunt have one of these, you should too. It’s a key to the Dump.” He tossed it to Harry. “I think you’ll end up with plenty of Halos round here.”

“Always out for the money, aren’t you Rodin?” There was no actual heat in her voice.

Rodin grinned. “Business before pleasure ladies, you know that.” He waved and lit a cigar with one thumb. “Gotta get back to the Dump. You kids have fun now.” There was a flash and Rodin vanished.

In the ringing silence that followed, a booming voice suddenly thundered out, “First years over here! First years this way!” The voice was coming from a mountain of a man in a large hairy looking coat.

Bayonetta’s eyes narrowed. “That voice sounds very familiar.”

The man was every bit as large as he appeared. He was carrying a lantern and was waving it about. “First years with me! We’ll be going up to the castle as soon as we got everyone!” He leaned down and picked something up. “Oy! Who’s toad is this!”


“Keep a better eye on your pets lad.”

Jeanne sniffed. “He seems harmless. And I doubt he’d be expecting people of our power anyway.” She flipped her hair back. “Besides, we have a ride waiting, and we need to change into something more appropriate.”


The giant man turned out be named Hagrid. He led them to a number of boats at the edge of a lake. “No more an’ four to a boat!” He pointed at Harry. “You’re with me.”

Remembering Rodin’s warning, Harry cocked his guns. It turned out to be mostly unnecessary as the only hint he saw of an Inferno was some of its vegetation. Given that Inferno’s plant life was often times sentient, this might have spelled trouble, but if any of it was alive, it appeared to be asleep. Harry made sure not to touch it anyway.


They were met at the castle by a very stern looking woman dressed in mostly green robes. Her gaze swept the mass of students, eyes narrowing when she spotted Harry.

Hagrid however, spoke before she could. “The first years, Fesser McGonagall.”

“Thank you Hagrid.” Her voice was crisp and no-nonsense. “I’ll take it from here.” She led them inside. What followed was a short lecture. “In a few moments, you will be sorted into your houses. There are four houses here in Hogwarts. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. While you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule breaking-“ Here her gaze shot to Harry, “will lose you points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup.” She turned and threw the door open. “Follow me.”

She led them into a large room filled with people. Up at the front of the room, a witch with fly-away hair was putting a very worn out looking hat on a thee legged stool. The hat sat there for a moment, then a rip at the brim opened like a mouth, and it started to sing.

 “Light and Dark have returned to us, bringing back days of old. In the darkness there is a story to be told. Fear not the night, for in it is light. The eyes of the world are in all today, one great cosmic play. Paradise and fire play their part, one great celestial art! Look to the moon and its people for the facts, they’ll tell you that none of it are acts. The truth is hard, and life deals many a card. So take your card and put me on your head, I’ll tell you where you need to go, for I see all the highs and lows! For I’m no ordinary hat, I’m a thinking cap!”

The hat fell silent to a round of applause, though it was mixed with some confused whispering. Professor McGonagall gave the room the sort of look that could curdle milk, which quickly cut off the noise. “When I call your name, you will come up and place the hat upon your head and be sorted into your houses.”

Harry stopped paying attention after this, focusing instead on the hall in general. The ceiling caught his attention first, as it seemed to be showing whatever was outside, though if he looked closely he could still see the rafters. The wall behind the professors at the front of the room was much more interesting however. There were several portraits, and to Harry’s great surprise, the largest was a faithful rendering of Queen Sheba.

The queen of Inferno looked out over the entire hall from a truly massive portrait. As Harry stared at it, he could have sworn it winked at him. Remembering that Sheba had once helped his mother, Harry wouldn’t have been surprised if she was watching now.

He was jerked back to reality as Mcgonagall called out, “Granger, Hermione!”

The bushy haired girl he had run into earlier walked up to the stool looking highly nervous. There was a full minute of silence, then the rip in the hat opened wide. “Gryffindor!” The girl headed to a table decked out in red and gold, amidst cheers and clapping.

Shortly thereafter was “Longbottom, Neville.” He too ended up at Gryffindor, though the hat took a very long time deciding, and Neville accidentally went to the table wearing it and had to jog back amid gales of laughter.

The next was “Malfoy, Draco.” The hat took almost no time whatsoever. It had barely touched his head before it shouted out Slytherin.

Finally after “Patil, Padma, and Patil Parvati!”, it was “Potter, Harry!”

McGonagall blanched slightly as Harry strode forward. All around him the hall erupted into whispers. “Potter did she say?” “The Harry Potter?” “Why isn’t he wearing robes?” Harry ignored them, making for the hat.

Closer to the stool, he could see a crescent shaped splash of metal set into the floor. As he reached it, it glowed brightly, throwing his shadow up against a wall. Harry sighed and sat on the stool, and resolutely ignoring the growing whispers, put the hat on his head.

“Hah! An Umbra back in our halls at last!” The hat sounded worryingly enthusiastic. “Five hundred and some odd years has been far too long!”

Harry frowned. “You seem unbelievably thrilled.”

The hat gave him what felt like the mental equivalent of a shrug. “Unlike the others in this castle, I remember its glory days, when the founders and the Umbra worked side by side. It was they who gave me the ability to sort you lot into your houses after all.” It seemed to pause for a moment. “Speaking of which…” It trailed off and began muttering to itself.

“The Umbra made you?”

The hat broke off mid-mutter. “Oh heavens no. I was made by Twilina’s hat shop and purchased by one Godric Gryffindor. Towards the end of his life, the Umbra put some power into me so that I could sort for the founders after their deaths. Speaking of sorting, I think you’d do well in…Slytherin!”

This last word was shouted out to the hall at large. There was a smattering of applause, though it was much subdued. Harry however could see Bayonetta and Jeanne both applauding from a small alcove. They would have been clearly visible had they not both been in Purgatorio.

A spate of whispers started and Professor McGonagall jerked her hand back from the hat. Harry turned and beheld a giant flower growing out of the metal crescent. It would have looked like a sunflower, had its petals not been a bright blue, and a skull been where the center normally would have been. The skull yattered at him and whipped about to eye the hall. Seeing the fascinated, and slightly longing, look on one of the professor’s faces, Harry leaned down and yanked at the flower, the roots sliding free of the metal with ease. He gave the skull a sharp tap on the forehead, making it freeze, and sauntered up to the head table.

He held it out to the professor, who accepted and twirled her wand, creating a pot. She stuck the flower in and made a wave of dirt fill around it. “Thank you, Mister Potter. These are harmless, but I’ve never been able to see one up close.”

He nodded and gave the skull another tap, causing it to start moving again. Then he reached up to take the hat off his head. As he removed it, the hat spoke one last time. “All four houses have Umbra quarters. You should have no trouble locating them.”

Harry grinned and set it on the stool. “Thanks for the tip.” The end of the hat nodded to him. Harry strode towards the Slytherin table and sat down next to Malfoy, who looked a cross between disturbed and impressed.


The rest of the sorting was fairly subdued. After the last person had been sorted, the hat was swept away, and the headmaster, an ancient looking man with a very long beard, rose. “Well another year has begun, and to our new students I bid you welcome, and our returning students, welcome back! Before we begin our welcoming feast, I must make a few start of term announcements. First, I must mention to all students that the Forbidden forest is dangerous and students are not permitted entry. Also the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to all those who do not wish to meet a most painful death.”

Harry laughed, but he was one of the few that did.

The headmaster continued unperturbed. “I would also like to announce the arrival of some new classes.” He gestured to his left, where two empty chairs sat. “As you can see, we have two new additions to our staff this year. First we have Advanced Magical Defense, taught by Professor D’arc!”

Jeanne threw the doors open and strode in. Harry grinned. She was wearing an outfit that she herself said she had not worn since the days of the witch hunts. She had apparently modified it into a kind of dress. She swept up and at a gesture from Dumbledore, stopped at his side. Professor D’arc specializes in wandless magic. Her classes will be available for fifth years and up.”

Jeanne sat down and flashed Harry a smile.

The Headmaster cleared his throat. “Also new to us this year is Magical Self Defense, a class which will be available for all years. It will be taught by Professor Bayonetta!”

The doors flew open again, and Bayonetta strode in. Most of the hall went silent. Harry didn’t blame them. His mother was wearing her battle uniform, though she had modified it so that there were no openings in the legs, and the partition in the back was much smaller. Harry himself had patterned his own battle uniform off of his mother’s old one, though his had a great deal less accessories.

The silence was broken by two loud wolf whistles. Bayonetta stopped dead. Then she turned and stomped her foot. There were two shouts of surprise, and a blast of magical detonation. She held out her arms and caught the two boys as they came spiraling down. Hoisting them by the back of their robes, she said, “Self-defense lesson number one. Always respect a lady. You never know what she might be capable of.” She held them closer. “Is that understood?” Both boys nodded furiously. “Good!” She dropped them. “Back to your seats.” Both boys scurried off looking chastened.

Harry joined in the laughter filling the hall, watching as his mother back flipped over the table and sat down next to Jeanne, ignoring the looks from the other Professors.

The headmaster seemed less perturbed. “You will of course remember to give them the respect they are due as professors. And with that I must give a few last words. And here they are. Nitwit, oddment, blubber, tweak!”

Harry started laughing as the plates filled up with food.

One of the students next to him let out a low whistle. “Damn. I want a class with her. She’s tough as nails!”

Another student shrugged. “Yeah, but wandless magic? That could really be handy.”

Harry grinned and looked up at the head table. He spotted one of the teachers, a rather sallow man with a large nose eyeing him with a mixture of revulsion, fury, and confusion. Harry rolled his eyes and put the man out of his mind.

“I still say the self-defense class sounds best.” Harry glanced over at the student next to him. “She’s unbelievable!”

“She’s my mom.” Harry said, grinning as the student gagged on his pumpkin juice.

You're an Umbran Harry! chapter 7
So Hogwarts at last! And several things I need to clarify. I keep forgetting to actually describe Harry's uniform, which is patterned after Bayonetta's uniform from Bayonetta one, minus most of the accessories. The opening in the back remains, since that seems to be there mainly for the purpose of the witches summoning their Madama's wings. Also his hair (depending on his whim) is anywhere from shoulder to waist length, though he rarely wears it that long. it's typically about halfway down his back, and unless specifically mentioned otherwise, this what he has it for everyday. though he never wears it short, finding it to be unmanageable.

Information about the Hogwarts express can be found on Pottermore, and the ministry does indeed require students to ride it.

For those wondering about Harry's house placement, I couldn't see him in Gryffindor, as they'd be too loud and annoying to him, and Ravenclaw requires the answer to a riddle to get in, which I can't see him always getting right. Hufflepuff might have worked, but loyalty isn't precisely one of Harry's strong suits here, particularly to the wizarding world in general. His family is another story, of course.

Scuttlebut with Jeanne is that she may actually be Joan of Arc, hence her name.

"Now remember sweetie, we'll be right here in case anything happens alright?"

Harry swallowed and nodded as Jean stepped back behind him. "Yes, Aunt Jeanne."

Next to her, Luka leaned toward Bayonetta. "Are you sure he's ready for this?"

She frowned. "Technically speaking, no one really is." She whispered. "A picture in a book is one thing. Seeing them in the flesh is quite another."

Harry started chanting, a strange wind whipping through the air. Luka felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. "How does this work anyway? Do you actually pick one?"

Bayonetta shook her head. "It's more a search for an Infernal that you'll share a rapport with."

Furniture began to rattle and a vortex slowly began to open, tendrils of red energy spiraling out into the air.

There was a pause, and then a strange, spherical looking creature with an oddly shaped head rose through the portal.

Bayonetta hissed something in Enochian and drew back her fist. "A Malicious!"

Before she could act however, a gigantic hand erupted from the portal and snatched up the Infernal. It squeezed, causing it to let out a shriek. There was a gush of blood and the Malicious crumpled to the ground, dissolving into nothingness.

The hand drew back, and the portal widened. Then a massive head rose. The skin was dark, almost pitch black, and the hair was a messy pile of brown. Atop it was a simple headdress with a giant crescent moon on its side. Her eyes, like all Infernals, were a bright red. She rose higher, revealing a golden choker and the top half of what appeared to be a black gown.

She leaned forward and eyed him, smiling. Then she spoke, her voice surprisingly light, but filled with a rich undertone. "Ah. I see. The son of Cereza. This is a pleasant surprise."

Out of one ear, Bayonetta could hear Jeanne giving a running translation for Luka. She discreetly cocked her guns. "Is it really?"

The infernal turned her head to look at her. "And why would it not be? Is he not requesting a pact?"

"That depends entirely on you really being who you should be."

The Infernal smirked. "I am no Malicious, if that is what you are concerned of." She turned back to Harry. "Do you recognize me?"

Harry nodded and swallowed. In somewhat halting Enochian he said, "You are the Lady Astarte."

The Infernal's smile widened. "Madama Butterfly has spoken highly of your intelligence to me. I am pleased to see she was not mistaken."

Bayonetta's stance shifted into something slightly more relaxed. "She rarely is."

Astarte's massive head nodded once. "Just so." She rose higher, revealing her supposed gown to actually be a form of ancient toga. There was a light rustle, and a pair of gargantuan dove-like wings spread out behind her. She extended a hand, setting the bangles on her arm jingling. "So then little Umbra, will you make a pact with me? Will you trade me your soul in exchange for my wisdom and power?"

Harry swallowed nervously. Then he glanced back at Bayonetta. When she gave him an encouraging look he turned back to face Astarte, who was smiling indulgently. "I-" He coughed and tried again. "I do so hereby swear my soul to you, Lady Astarte."

She smile widened and she carefully picked him up. "So it has been decided, and so it shall be! You have a great future ahead of you little Umbra."

With that, she seemed to surge forward, melting and swirling about Harry in a riot of color and sound. His watch began to glow, and he rose into the air. There was a bang, and the colors exploded outward, throwing the room into sharp relief. They watched as Harry's shadow slowly began to warp, shifting into the shape of Lady Astarte.

Harry gasped as he began to fall. There was a moment of free-fall, then the wings of a dove burst from his back, flapping gently and slowing his descent. He landed somewhat heavily on the ground, looking winded. Bayonetta and Jeanne were at his sides in seconds.

As they hauled him up, the portal, which was still open, throbbed with arcane energy and widened immeasurably, rising off the ground to hover in front of them. There was a rustling sound, and Harry caught sight of something resembling a humanoid insect. It seemed to eye him for a moment before it spoke. To his surprise, it was in English. "Well done, young one." Then there was a crash, and the portal vanished.

After a moment, Luka spoke. "I didn't think they knew English."

Bayonetta finished helping Harry up. "They do, but they rarely choose to speak it. They seem to think its beneath them to speak like humans do." She turned to Harry. "But it spoke truly. Well done indeed."

Jeanne nodded. "Yes. Astarte is one of the older Infernals. Her siding with you speaks well of your talents."

"Is it normal to feel this tired?"

Bayonetta nodded. "It's the strain from them connecting. It'll vanish in a few days. You have some leeway until the contract fully kicks in."

"Can't carry out a contract without a weapon."

"Gah!" Luka leaped away as Rodin materialized from nowhere behind him. "Do you have to do that?!"

Rodin took a drag from his cigar. "Makes life more fun." He grinned. "Come on back to the Dump, kid. I got a little birthday present for ya."

Once they were back at the bar, Rodin laid a cloth covered box on the table. "For your pleasure, I present to you, Night at the Opera!" He whipped the cloth away to reveal four guns that were jet black in color and had a moon shaped gem hanging from their handles. "Here we have Dafne, Carmen, Seville, and Partenope."

Bayonetta licked her lips. "Why Rodin! You've outdone yourself!"

The weaponsmith grinned, his eyes shining red through his sunglasses. "Nothing but the best for you and yours, Bayonetta." He frowned slightly. "You'd probably put a bullet in me if I did any less."

She grinned. "You know me a little too well, Rodin."

Rodin chuckled and turned to Harry. "Take em out back and try em out kid. I even got you some targets."

Harry grinned and grabbed the guns, locking them into place and sprinted for the door. "Thanks Uncle Rodin!"

Jeanne sauntered after him. "I'll make sure he doesn't overdo it."

Luka watched the door for a second, then took a sip of the drink Rodin handed him. "So I was back in London again last week. Have you ever heard of a goblin?"

Bayonetta scoffed. "Very low ranking Infernal. Prefers to use money to give mortals trouble. Why?"

"Because I met one. It asked me to give this letter to "Lady Cereza of the Left Eye". Apparently they knew we work together."

Bayonetta frowned and took the proffered letter. She flipped it open and read aloud. "To the esteemed Lady Cereza of the Left Eye, greetings. We here at Gringotts Wizarding bank have been recently appraised of your adoption of one Harry James Potter by one of our field agents. We humbly request that you please make a trip to our American branch in Times Square, New York, to settle matters of estate in connection with Mister Potter. We give you our word as one Infernal to another that all matters shall be held in utmost secrecy. If you require directions, please send a request via the enclosed return envelope. Sincerely, Gornoll, Head Goblin of Gringotts Incorporated."

"Well, that was surprisingly polite, for an Infernal. Can you actually trust their word?"

"Goblins are always polite, unless they aren't, Chesire. I wasn't aware they had a bank however. Seems they've been branching out. And generally there's few Infernals you can trust, but a goblin always keeps their word. It's part of the reason humans trust them so much." She fished out the enclosed envelope, reading the address. "Main Offices, Gringotts Headquarters, London." She flipped it over and read a small note taped to the back. "Please give this to the nearest owl, and they will be happy to transport this letter. You may have to bribe them with food first however."

She grinned. "Looks like I have a trip to make that's actually aboveboard for once."

Rodin chuckled and took a sip of his own drink. "Don't tell me you're getting soft."

She sniffed. "Perish the thought Rodin!" She glanced at Luka. "I don't suppose you found out anything else while you were in London?"

"You mean besides the fact that the Goblin's think Dumbledore is more mad than anything else? There's a school for magic people up somewhere in Scotland. Apparently anyone without magic just sees a condemned building or something. Dumbledore's the headmaster."

Bayonetta made a noncommittal noise as she wrote something out and put it in the envelope. "And the name?"


Rodin raised an eyebrow. "Now that name brings back memories. Lot of angels getting killed back in the early days. They had their own Umbra bodyguard back then. Right up until they got called away during the witch hunts."

"And then they went down under."

"True enough." She sealed the envelope and headed for the back door. "I suppose we'll be off now. I suppose you're heading back out Cheshire?"

"Yeah. Back to London. Seems those rumors about Voldemort making a deal with a demon may not have been rumors. Hopefully I can find out. Tell Harry I said happy ninth, okay?"

She nodded and headed out to watch as Harry targeted and successfully blasted some captured Decorations Rodin had provided. Then she scowled. "Harry! Loosen your arms! I know I've told you holding a gun like that will just make you sore!"

Harry grinned and settled into something more natural looking.

Jeanne snorted. "You do realize he only switched to that when he heard you come out?"

Bayonetta rolled her eyes. "Cheeky little devil." But she ruffled his hair all the same.

You're an Umbran Harry! Ch5
My apologies for the delay. This chapter required a lot of research. So, Astarte. She's a goddess of fertility, motherhood, love, and war. By various accounts, she has either been cast down to hell (The bible refers to her as the abomination), always been there, or chose to go there. She has a lot of parallells with Harry in that respect, which is what led me to choose her. XrosaryX pointed out to me that all the known Umbra contract partners were insect based, but after watching Bloody Fate where Bayonetta's partner is implied to be Gomorroh, I'm left thinking that may be a feature of the Madamas, rather than any particular indicator of the Umbra.

Speaking of Madamas, Harry's guns are an Homage to Madama Butterfly, Who is herself named for an opera of the same name, as her description alludes to. While Carmen is well known, and Seville is short for the Barber of Seville, Dafne is the first opera ever, performed in Florence, and Partenope is the first opera written by an American born composer.

Also Madama Butterfly is a closet gossip, and the Goblins are not terribly enamored of Dumbledore.

  • Mood: Movingon
  • Listening to: Itunes
  • Playing: nothing
  • Drinking: water
I work in retail. Those of you who know me and where i work, (You know who you are) will not be surprised that once again, something unusual happened there today.

It seems that both my best and worst memories tend to have their footholds there.

Today's was certainly not a good one, but I wouldn't rank it as bad either exactly. We'll go with food for thought.

A customer happened to see a gay couple at the store kiss.

I myself am not a big fan of PDA, though this was quite tame. Thus, aside from perhaps a token expression, I pretty much ignored it. (Which I would have anyway. I'm not the type to come up and air my opinion to perfect strangers about their behavior when its something as simple as a little kiss.)

The customer however, must have seen my expression, because she remarked to me, "Those Gay and Bisexual demons have no place in God's world." Apparently she was under the entirely mistaken impression she was speaking to a kindred spirit. (And also had no idea I worked there, I no longer need to dress the part when not on the clock.)

I like to consider myself fairly even tempered. Easy enough to aggravate, (Who isn't one way or another?) but slow to truly infuriate. But I have to admit, that statement struck a nerve.

I responded with, "And yet they are allowed to be born, exist, have sex, have children, and make families without being smited by a bolt out of the heavens."

The customer responded, "They are guarded by Satan's might."

"Are you really trying to tell me that you think Satan is mightier than God?"

Things degenerated after that (On her end) and I just walked away.

It did give me pause, that in this day and age, where Love and Tolerance are supposedly the words of the future, that there can exist such a level of hatred amongst us for one of our own kind. Whatever we do, we are still human beings, unless something changed recently that I'm not aware of. Whatever we have dangling betwixt our legs (or not) doesn't change that.

It is in our nature to leave the family we grew up with to start our own. What difference does it make if it's with another man or woman? If we're happy with who we are and what we have, that's all that really matters, or so I've always thought.

Honestly people, we're stuck on this planet together anyway, let's try to get along. Something tells me that's all the big man up there isreally trying to get us to do.


Artist | Student | Photography
United States
I am a major nut about Photography, and take many pictures. In my spare time (Whatever that is) I also write.

I am also an administrator on the site Potions and, a Harry/Snape Gen fiction archive, which focuses on the non slash relationships between the two.

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Cold-Creature Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It arrived TODAAAAY!!! *throws confetti* Which is so lucky- I'm driving outta here in... 3 hours ;3;  
I wish you could've seen my glee- I should've done an unboxing vid- but I had no idea it was your's because it said it was posted within Australia-- ? weird >.>
So I cracked it open- in the post office- cause I'm impatient- and was over the moon when I saw the artbook- I collect them btw -  I have easily 50- but Frozen wasn't in my collection yet!!! ;D Ah, thank you! 

I'm also now using the ribbon from the wrapping to do my hair XDD So it'll travel with me to the UK XDDD
magicia Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Student Photographer
Yeah I think Customs is to blame for that. I can assure you it shipped from Pennsylvania:D

I'm glad you liked it! ope you had a good birthday, and have a great time in the UK! Woohooooo! :cake:
Cold-Creature Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Custommss!! *shakes fist*

I had a fantastic birthday thanks--- I'm loving the UK so far- although I have a serious headache from the lack of water on the 12 hours flight--- >.> And customs in the UK scared me to death XDD 
I didn't know the address I was staying at- and was really late to collect my luggage  >.>
magicia Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015  Student Photographer
Nothing like a rocky start, lol :D

I distinctly remember the first time I traveled out of state. The hotel had overbooked, the Plane actually went BACK to the runway to pick up people, and then we were stuck on the tarmac at the new airport because another plane broke down and we couldn't taxi in.

After that it went pretty smooth, lol

You gonna see the clocktower?
(1 Reply)
xXAMemetic-EngineBXx Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Student General Artist
Hey, did ya get my PM on about that fanfic?
Cold-Creature Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthdaaaaay!!!
magicia Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Student Photographer
Thank you! It was AWESOME! :D
Cold-Creature Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah!! What did you get up to? XDD 
magicia Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Student Photographer
went to see a movie, ate out, the whole nine yards. and Bowling, which is not something I normally do, but hey gotta live a little :D
(1 Reply)
xXAMemetic-EngineBXx Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Student General Artist
Yo! You ever read your PMs on
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